Nearly four hundred
years ago, Tulsidaas had said “sur nar muni sab ki reeti, swarath lag kare sab
preeti”. It means “Good people, common people, saint and others love another person
because of their need/selfishness”. Each action of human race is born out of
self. Love is the extension of self.
Self exists
first, then other things. A person is going to work, to meet someone, calling someone,
chatting with someone because he or she is getting something out of that
relationship. Otherwise that relationship is no longer required. If you get
better job, better home, better car, better person you will move to next one
rather than sticking to old stuff. This is how the life is. At any rate it has
to move in the direction of betterment.
Some people might
not be agreeing on leaving the person and having better one, however this is
the fact. Just think, the person you admire or love is collection of some
habits (which comes from his background,
education, culture etc.). You find those habits very alluring and attracted
towards that person. But you never noticed that why did you find those habits alluring,
because you compared that person with the known persons, and found that she or
he fits into your life. So this is also the material process which involves comparison
and the day you will find better version of similar habits you move on to the next
one.
Only in one
case you will never move on to the next person and that is when you are contented
in yourself, and not looking for any kind of fulfillment from other person. Otherwise
it will be entire life misery to fulfill your desire which depends on others.
Humans have
created many names for self desire for various occasions. When you care yourself and don’t
think much about others, they say it is selfishness. When you have enough and
donate to others, they say it is charity and consider it is selfless act. When you
compete with someone and win over, they say it is your right. When you
sacrifice your pleasure and care for someone else they say it is love.
In the
entire human act, self is involved everywhere. By sacrificing something for
someone makes you feel good, that is why you do it, but we name it love and
make it nobler and greater. However, if we see closely love is the greatest
selfishness of the all selfish act of human being.
Self and
love go hand in hand. Even when you say “I love you”, ‘I’ comes before you. ‘I’
exist before love. If there is any such person on this earth who is selfless,
only his action can be pure action, not born of self. Only his or her love can
be unconditional love.
