Self and Love

Nearly four hundred years ago, Tulsidaas had said “sur nar muni sab ki reeti, swarath lag kare sab preeti”. It means “Good people, common people, saint and others love another person because of their need/selfishness”. Each action of human race is born out of self. Love is the extension of self.

Self exists first, then other things. A person is going to work, to meet someone, calling someone, chatting with someone because he or she is getting something out of that relationship. Otherwise that relationship is no longer required. If you get better job, better home, better car, better person you will move to next one rather than sticking to old stuff. This is how the life is. At any rate it has to move in the direction of betterment.

Some people might not be agreeing on leaving the person and having better one, however this is the fact. Just think, the person you admire or love is collection of some habits (which comes from his background, education, culture etc.). You find those habits very alluring and attracted towards that person. But you never noticed that why did you find those habits alluring, because you compared that person with the known persons, and found that she or he fits into your life. So this is also the material process which involves comparison and the day you will find better version of similar habits you move on to the next one.

Only in one case you will never move on to the next person and that is when you are contented in yourself, and not looking for any kind of fulfillment from other person. Otherwise it will be entire life misery to fulfill your desire which depends on others.

Humans have created many names for self desire for various occasions. When you care yourself and don’t think much about others, they say it is selfishness. When you have enough and donate to others, they say it is charity and consider it is selfless act. When you compete with someone and win over, they say it is your right. When you sacrifice your pleasure and care for someone else they say it is love.

In the entire human act, self is involved everywhere. By sacrificing something for someone makes you feel good, that is why you do it, but we name it love and make it nobler and greater. However, if we see closely love is the greatest selfishness of the all selfish act of human being.

Self and love go hand in hand. Even when you say “I love you”, ‘I’ comes before you. ‘I’ exist before love. If there is any such person on this earth who is selfless, only his action can be pure action, not born of self. Only his or her love can be unconditional love.